So today is my 25th birthday which is causing immense amounts of introspection. I just don’t want to go into this next quarter of the game we call life with dead weight or not accomplishing things I want and know I am capable of.
For starters, I went through each relationship I’ve had in the past as well as currently. I dissected the effort I put in each of these exchanges and why. When I refer to relationships that means personal and professional.
My friendships range from many different times in my life. Each one reflects the head space I was in when I met these individuals (makes so much sense to me now). I hang out with some of my friends while others it’s hard to find things we mutually would be into at this point in our lives. (I’m sure they feel the same about me) Do I still love these individuals, of course! We just aren't in sync anymore and that's perfectly fine. Every now and then I reflect on the great times spent for the season we were heavily in each other’s lives and move on.
My past significant others are a reflection of the various levels of understanding I had when it came to matters of the heart. Whether it was a companionship of convenience or me giving my best attempt of “love”. Each of them took up pretty big chunks of my 25 years and I’ve only been dating the last decade of my life.
Work relationships usually end up me getting complacent and not advocating for what I deserve. I am working on being confident in my abilities. I am one of those people who loves supporting people I care about, that’s a comfortable space for me. I am the number one supporter when it comes to my job (allowing them to bs me), friends (never requiring support be reciprocated) and significant others (both).
Now in the present I am shifting my focus to be a bit more selfish in my actions. I am looking out for my best interests. This past year was my golden year, I turned 24 on the 24th. It has truly been year of ONLY doing things I truly enjoy and will benefit me moving forward. This also is the first year I’ve been single the entire year in 9 years. I left habits and people behind that don’t deserve to be a part of what's next for me. There are plenty that will make the cut but at this time in my life if I see things going left I don’t have the capacity to let it linger.
I address it and keep it pushing PERIODT *city girl’s voice*.